CHAPTER SEVEN - A Cocktail of Double Life

                I would have given you, anything that you wanted

                I would have taken you, anywhere you wanted to go

                I would have answered you, any question that you asked me

                I would have told you, anything you wanted to know

Bagatelle – Second Violin

Sunday morning was ushered in by a bright sunrise that shone through her curtains and then through her eyelids. Kamaria, as she struggled to awaken her brain to match the eyes, hoped the brightness was a sign that the day ahead held good tidings. She tried to shake off her nerves, only succeeding for a few moments at a go. What she was about to do was way out of her comfort zone. Voluntarily meeting strangers was something Shani would do without a second thought. Kamaria was an introvert, happy to be around people who did not expect her to have a conversation.

A few kilometers away, Jamba witnessed the same sunrise from a slightly different angle; it found him at his bedroom balcony, smoking his first cigarette of the day an hour earlier than usual. He was trying to suppress his nerves as well, trying to smother the worries that had kept him up half of the night. 

The previous day had taken every ounce of energy and adrenaline he had and as he stared at nothing in particular through the smoke he was blowing, he hoped the not more than an hour in total of sleep he had managed had replenished some of the energy. The day before, as he had chased for orders and deliveries and paid for them, he could not believe how much he was spending on the party. A nine year old’s party.  This was the first birthday party he had gone to lengths for – previous ones were held in school where he would get a big themed cake; buy enough candies and party hats. This time round, Christine had insisted on what she called a proper birthday party. ‘My friend Maya had a big party – I must have a big party,’ she had argued with that puppy look he always fought to resist.

He had agreed but it was too late when he realized how big, big was. Christine had given him a list that included tents, a bouncing castle, two themed cakes, candies, acrobats and food for grownups. ‘Children never eat proper food during birthday parties, we eat candy.’ She had explained. There had been a separate list of twenty friends she wanted to invite. ‘Christian will give you his list of friends as well.’ Jamba had looked at his daughter in borderline shock, wondering when she had grown into such a demanding princess.

‘Watch out Jamba,’ his mother had cautioned over the phone when he told her what Christine wanted. ‘Watch out because that is how you start bringing up entitled future adults. Watch out for overcompensating them for their mother’s absence, or in the name of being a modern parent. Children will not die if you tell them no, as long as you explain why.’ That was how he had cancelled out the acrobats. ‘From next year,’ he had told his children over dinner. ‘We shall no longer have such parties. We will write a list of the places we want to travel to and if we can afford it that will be our birthday destination.’ The children had both said they wanted to go to Disneyland, making him roll his inward eyes.

‘You turned up alright without the hullabaloo’. His mother had concluded. He had no memory of celebrating a birthday – the only proof he had was a photo of him, sitting on his mother’s lap while she helped him cut a cake that had no icing. He was one.

Before getting in bed to attempt some sleep, he had gone to the same balcony he now stood on to smoke his last cigarette of the day. The party had caused him enough stress, but it was nothing compared to the stress his decision to invite Serah and Rosa was causing him. How was he going to handle things if one of them, most likely Rosa, caused drama? He was confident that if anything happened, Serah would be the one keeping her cool. He thought of calling Rosa to cancel on her, but never got round to do it. ‘Gosh, is my ego so badly off that it needs to see two women possibly get into a fight over me?’ He asked himself loudly, slightly disgusted with himself.

As the sun finished emerging from the horizon, he crushed the half smoked cigarette in the ashtray he kept at the balcony, went inside to take a shower.

____________

At three minutes past midday, Kamaria’s phone rang. On any other day, she would have ignored the unrecognized number. Long ago she had realized most of those calls were more often than not from people who had mis-dialed, and they always spoke languages she did not understand.

“Hello…”

“Serah, hi. My name is Sudi. Jamba asked me to pick you up.”

“Where are you?”

“I am outside your gate. Are you ready to go?”

She went to the sitting room and peeped through the window and saw Jamba’s truck. “Give me five minutes.”

One last time, she checked herself on the mirror and decided whatever she was wearing would have to do. She did not want to stick out and had picked on dark colours. Loose black cotton pants and a jungle green cotton sleeveless top. Her sandals matched her top, so did her bag. It was a hot day, but she never left the house without a sweater. She carried the black sweater in her hands. The only make up was lip gloss. Her hair was newly cut, the day before the AGM meeting. Her ears donned a pair of jungle green Zanta Adeyde Africa shaped earrings. She grabbed a pair of glasses, knowing she would need them not only to shield her eyes from the promising bright sun, but to help her observe the strangers she would be spending her day with.

She grabbed the bag containing the presents for Christine and Christian by the door and banged it shut behind her, taking two stairs down at a time.

By the end of the five minutes she had asked for, she opened the car door but stopped in her tracks when she saw the driver.

He was staring at her in equal measure of shock as hers. “Are you….are you the waitress?” He stuttered in disbelief.

“What if I am?” She demanded, glaring at him.

“Gosh, you are a perpetual cat. I mean no harm, I am just curious…”

She grunted.

He stared at her for a few seconds then sighed. “Okay. I think we have, for the second time, got off on the wrong footing. How about we start again?” He held out his hand. “Hi, I am Sudi…”

She only hesitated for a second. “Serah.”

“Hi Serah. Sorry, I am usually not one to step on ladies’ toes, but I seem to be clumsy around you. Please forgive me…” He faked a meek look.

She smiled. “Forgiven…”

“Also, forgive me for being rude to you at the pub.” She smiled and nodded. “Yay. Now, get in, please. We have a party to attend.”

She did. For a minute, they drove in awkward silence. Kamaria was pushing her body against the door, subconsciously putting as much space as possible between them.

“I am harmless…” He said, stealing a glance. “If you continue like that, you will push the door open, then you will fall and break your neck, or back, or pride…”

She let out an embarrassed laugh. “Sorry. I am not good with strangers…”

“I don’t think that’s it. I think you are still upset with me for that day at R&R. I am sorry… I can get a bit careless when I see a beautiful woman…”

She grunted and crossed her arms.

“I am sorry. I didn’t know Jamba was hitting on you…”

“He was not. He is not. He is my friend…”

He stole another quick look, this time round skeptic. “Right… friend.”

Fifteen minutes later, they pulled up at Jamba’s gate. He lived along the Eastern Bypass on Githogoro. It was the cheaper part of Runda, or the expensive part of Ruaka. Githogoro suffered, by geographical default, from an identity crisis. How they identified their neighbourhood depended on who they were talking to. To some it was Runda, to others it was Ruaka. Jamba had never mentioned where he lived.

Through the car window, she admired the one storey house surrounded by manicured flowers and grass. The only cemented area was the drive way, walk ways and the parking lot. The fence, unlike what she was used to seeing, unlike what Jamba’s neighbours had, was over ten meters of kei apple and taller trees. She did wonder for a moment how safe that was, but soon she noticed that the inside had barbed wire.

She had grown up in concrete jungle and no wonder she nearly gasped by what seemed like endless green. Seeing a compound with grass over more over flowers warmed her heart, instantly making her decide to buy a house where she could plant grass and flowers.

Inside the compound were children running, or riding bicycles or jumping on the bouncing castle, making happy sounds. From inside the car she watched them, trying to identify Christine. They looked like each other even in dressing. She turned to the tent pitched on the lawn, where the grownups were. They were all staring at her and Jamba and for a second she contemplated running through the gate and back to her safe haven.

 “Serah, come on…” Sudi urged, noticing her reluctance. “They are a nice bunch, I promise you…”

She followed Sudi, hoping by the time they reached the tent, her face would have stopped burning. They were all staring at them, silently and she had no illusions against the fact she was the point of interest. She was the newbie – if her suspicions were right, they did not know about her, just like Sudi had no idea. They all probably thought she was Sudi’s girlfriend, which she thought would be a disaster as she had seen a wedding ring on his finger.

Jamba emerged from the house just as she reached the edge of the tent. Ignoring Sudi’s accusing glare and knowing he would have answers to give, he smiled and went straight for Kamaria, giving her a hug and a kiss on her cheek. “You look absolutely delicious…” He whispered.

She giggled involuntarily. “Why didn’t you tell me it was him picking me up?” She demanded in a whisper, following him into the tent.

“Did he do anything wrong?” He whispered back.

“No, but it was awkward.”

“Awkward is okay, we can recover. Come on. Come and meet everyone…” He took her hand and led her towards the unblinking adults. If she did not think wearing her sunglasses while being introduced to strangers was rude, she would have pulled them down.

“And who is this gorgeous woman?” One of the older men demanded.

“Dad! You are not supposed to see gorgeous women, at least not in front of mom…” Jamba protested.

“Oh please… I would worry if he didn’t spot beautiful women. That would make him blind, right?” Kamaria smiled at the woman shyly, instantly feeling relaxed. Jamba’s parents may have been staunch Christians, but clearly not exempt from a bit of naughty fun.

“Everyone, please meet my friend Serah.”

“Hi Serah!” Multiple voices answered, all raising their glasses to her.

“Serah, this is everybody. I can’t be bothered to introduce them because you will forget them immediately, but some of them my friends, others are my parents and the other set is Julia’s parents…you will know their names as we move along…”

“Whose son are you?” His mother demanded in feigned horror. “Come here Serah. I will introduce you to everybody so I can show you the ones to avoid and the ones to befriend. Obviously, I am one of the nice ones and although Jamba is my son, his manners are not from my genes….”

She had never missed a family unit so much. She felt tears well up and quickly fought them back by engaging a smile.

________________

On his mother’s insistence, Kamaria was sandwiched between Jamba’s parents.  The father poured wine in a glass and offered it to her. “We are way ahead, drink up and try to catch up…” She had accepted with a giggle. She only spoke when spoken to, but she laughed at the jokes. And they were many. At some point, she found the courage to wear the sunglasses. She studied people behind the sunglasses. Sudi kept staring at her with amusement, once in a while shaking his head. He was sitting next to a couple she later learned was visiting from France. He and Jamba had shared a room with the man. On the other side of Sudi was his wife Chichi – a petite woman who looked even smaller when juxtaposed to Sudi’s big frame. In between Chichi and Jamba’s father were Julie’s parents. They did not participate much, but they seemed to have a lot to say to one other. A couple of times, Kamaria caught them whispering to each other as they stared at her. She would quickly look away.

“Serah, what do you do with yourself?” When Jamba’s mother asked the question, Jamba had just disappeared somewhere. She shifted uncomfortably and studied her fingers before answering.

“I am a bartender…” She said, sounding bolder than she felt. She looked at them behind her dark glasses, wanting to laugh at the uncomfortable silence that followed.

“Serah is the bartender at R&R…very good girl.” Sudi said. She smiled at him, appreciating the support. She decided he was not a bad person.  

“Right…is that the place Jamba spends all his spare time and money?” Jamba’s father asked, making everybody to laugh.

“That’s the one.” Sudi said, nodding at Kamaria in encouragement.

“He doesn’t drink much though. I think he just likes the atmosphere…” Kamaria said, feeling the need to defend Jamba more than she needed to defend her job description.

“He likes you too…obviously.” Chichi added jovially. “Who could blame him? You are a very beautiful girl…” Kamaria thought she saw Sudi give his wife a quick warning look, but the laughter that followed stopped her from following up on it.

“I did not realise there are such lovely waitresses…” Jamba’s mother whispered to Kamaria. She frowned a little, thinking to herself that it was the type of statement Shani would utter. Then she gave herself a mental slap. She needed to stop judging them because less than a year ago, she had been one of them. She was certain she had never been rude to any waiting staff, the same way she was certain she had never taken time to look at them as people with feelings and needs. They were there to serve her needs, make her comfortable.

Loudly, Jamba’s mother continued. “You seem like a lovely girl, perhaps it is not so bad for Jamba to spend so much time at the pub…his father hates it…thinks Jamba should spend more time in church and look for another girl to marry.” She whispered the last part of the statement.

She desperately wanted to change the topic. With Jamba making technical appearances to ask if everything was alright, she hoped Sudi would keep up with his support. He was however engrossed in a discussion with his wife.

“Where is the birthday girl?” She asked, turning to study the children. 

“Oh, you won’t find the little missy among the playing children. She is way too classy to run around. She is most likely in the house, getting herself ready so she could make a grand entry…that’s our Christine.”

“What about Christian?”

“Oh, that one is easy to pick. He looks exactly like Jamba, and you will find him on a bike somewhere…”

She saw him and yes, he was a mini Jamba.

Then she needed to use the toilet. “Just walk into the house. It’s the first door on your right.” She opened the main door, coming face to face with Jamba.

“Hey! Are you okay?” He pulled her inside, shut the door and without much as a warning, locked his fingers to hers and bent down to kiss her with urgency that left her too shocked and weak to resist. She closed her eyes, unlocked her fingers from his, put her arms around him and responded to the kiss in kind. She had no idea how long the kiss lasted, but when he stopped it, they were both out of breath, and shaking. “I had to do that.” He said unapologetically, lightly tracing his fingers along her lips, his face so close to hers, she could not focus. “I am not worried about the consequences of my actions but that I had to do.” He was whispering with a shaky voice, into her ear. “When you walked in just now, I felt like it was an answer to a prayer. You are so beautiful…”

She couldn’t talk. She couldn’t trust her voice not to croak.

He pulled away and looked at her, satisfied with the visible desire in her eyes, happy there would be no punishment for the daring, impromptu kiss. He shook his body.  “Sorry, did you need something?”

She nodded, wondering when her body would stop feeling like it was on fire. “Toilet?”

“Right. Come this way. You can use the one in Christine’s room as you two meet. I think she will love you…”

Because she was still shaky after the unpreparedness of the kiss, she let him hold her hand as he led her to a room upstairs.

“Knock knock.” He announced as he opened the room. “Sweetheart, I have a friend to meet you. She came for your party…”

The little girl, who was sitting facing her dressing mirror, looked at them curiously through the mirror with her big beautiful eyes. Another older girl was helping with her hair.

“Hi Christine. My name is Serah…”

“Hi…you are very pretty. Are you daddy’s girlfriend?” As Kamaria choked on her own saliva, she wondered whether all kids were this bold.  

“No I am not. I am his friend though…you are very pretty too.”

“Grandma says that daddy needs a girlfriend…”

They all laughed. “Christine I told you to stop eavesdropping on grownup conversations…”

“Sorry daddy…”

“That’s okay sweetheart…” He ruffled her hair, something that set her off.

“Daddy! You messed my hair…” Tears welled up.

“Don’t cry. I will make your hair again…” Kamaria offered as she took the comb over from the girl. “Sorry…my name is Serah, how are you.”

“I am fine madam…”

Besides making her feel really old, she hated that the title madam had a way of putting a wedge between the person using it and the person being referred to. “No, no. Don’t call me that. My name is Serah…”

“Yes madam. My name is Mary.”

“She called you madam, again…” Christine said as she laughed at her nanny. She heard Jamba giggle.

“Come, I will style your hair. And your dress is very pretty…” It was a pink princess dress, it matched her doll shoes and stockings. Needless to say, the ribbons for her hair were pink. She did not need to have a daughter of her own to know colour pink and little girls were synonymous. She had not worn pink since she became a teenager. Shani’s love for pink on the other hand was legendary. She had wanted a pink Range Rover until her then boyfriend had convinced her it was an insult to the brand.

“Can I leave you ladies to get ready? Oh, Serah, don’t forget to use the toilet. You can all come down as soon as you are done.” And he was off.

“Grandma says that daddy should not be running around the way he does…”

“Does she now?”

“Yes she does. I even heard them say that they would try to find daddy a girlfriend…may be they should ask you…”

______________

That Rosa arrived at the party with her entourage of five girls while Kamaria was in the house was, for anyone determined to find a silver lining, a blessing. The grim atmosphere that had descended on the party in his absence was what hit him first, and it hit him like, he imagined, a lightening would. He stopped by the door and peered at his family and friends. They were all still, like amateur mimes, but he felt every stab of the mental daggers they were sending his way. He shifted his gaze a little to the left and felt a little faint, cussing to himself. All morning, he had misused his prayer requests and prayed for an accident, a harmless accident, to befall Rosa and make her too hysterical to attend the party, that she would break a nail and would call to tell him she would not make it.

But Rosa and her friends, as colourful as ever, were here. They were sitting separately from the rest of the group. A quick scan at their outfits revealed girls who were dressed for a twerk party, not a children’s party. Another quick scan at the children and he saw they had all stopped playing, were staring at the new arrivals in awe and shock, perhaps admiration. He could just imagine what those children would tell their parents when they came to pick them up.

Rosa and her friends were already taking selfies.

He didn’t try to guess what the social media captions for those photos would be. His walk of shame, only fifty meters long to the tent, exhausted him physically and mentally. What he wanted to do was run back to the house and sneak off with Serah to a faraway land. What he did was face his problems, because he felt he may as well stay to the end of what he had designed with detail; the problem.

“What is going on here?” His mother demanded in an angry whisper, pulling him to sit next to her. He felt ten years old. He had behaved like a ten year old. “Who are those girls and what are they doing in Christine’s party dressed like clowns?”

“Boy, you have gone ahead and messed it big time…” Sudi contributed. He loved his friend, but this had taken even him by surprise. Not even he, known to be led by the wrong head more often than Jamba, could make such a blunder.

“I can explain…”

“You better have a good explanation for this…” His mother warned in a huff. His father gave him a pitiful look as he shook his head. Everybody else gave him looks of disbelieve – for a moment he felt like the party clown.

“Bae….” It was Rosa, walking excitedly towards him. He stood up. If he had never before wanted to ground to open up and swallow him, he wanted it to happen now. “Bae, hi…” She was walking very awkwardly in heels, on grass.

“Hi Rosa. How are you…” She was about to hug him, but he quickly stepped back and offered his hand. “I see you made it…” She gave him a confused look. “Have you met my family?” He added quickly before she could ask him what he meant.

“Oh, hi….” It was obviously the first time she was acknowledging them, which left Jamba wondering if they just walked in and sat down. Sat down like one would if they attended a wedding where every other guest was a stranger. He could not decide if to label their behavior behavior as stupid or snobbish.

“Hello…” Only his mother answered, and she did not even offer her hand.

“Nice to meet you. I am Jamba’s…”

“…friend.” He cut in quickly. He was thinking of ways to drug and drag her body on to the streets. Those of her friends too. What was he thinking? “Come on everybody, let’s wash our hands because food is almost ready. Serah and Christine are getting dolled up, they will be out any minute…”

Like a man running from a dangerous animal, and he was eyeing Rosa as a dangerous animal, he walked away towards the makeshift sink and quickly washed his hands, then quickly went into the house. He had developed an instant headache, and an urgent urge to smoke. How was he going to get out of this unscathed? He ran up three stairs at a time to his bedroom balcony and smoked furiously, until Sudi started calling him nonstop.

He crushed the cigarette and took a deep breath. Time to face the consequences.

___________________

When Kamaria and Christine emerged from the door, hand in hand, they paused for effect. Christine looked up at her new friend, adoringly. Current looming disaster was shelved for a few seconds and several people said awww. Kamaria felt like an item in a museum display and it made her nervous. She shook herself mentally and physically, took a deep breath and led Christine to the tent.

“Would you look at that?” Jamba whispered to no one in particular. He could feel Rosa’ eyes drilling into him, but he had ensured that he was at least ten meters away from her. He intended to keep it that way for the rest of the celebrations.

Kamaria only noticed Rosa and her friends after she safely delivered Christine to her paternal grandmother. She gasped, glad that everybody but Rosa was too busy hugging and saying happy birthday to Christine to notice her discomfort. If looks could kill, Rosa would have already been a murderer. Kamaria several deep breaths, slid down her sunglasses, crossed one leg over another, crossed her arms and leaned back on the seat. Then she started looking at people. Sudi was giving her another pitiful look. Chichi, sitting in a perfect man spread that gave Kamaria some comic relief, was giving her a look Kamaria could not understand. Julia’s parents were looking at Rosa disapprovingly. Everybody else, including Jamba, avoided looking at Kamaria.  Things had become suddenly awkward and if only she could trust her legs to be stable, she would have walked out right then.

Jamba’s father finally turned to Kamaria. “Some wine?” He asked.

She shook her head. He ignored her answer and refilled her glass. “Come on. You will feel better…” She looked at him hesitantly, and only took it when he nodded at her, understanding it was his way of telling her he was on her side. She did not know why it mattered, but it made her feel better.

When Rosa returned to her friends, a silent pact was made to ignore her presence. With every back turned on Rosa, the chit chat and the jokes resumed. Christine somehow found her way on Kamaria’s lap, making for good distraction for her.

“You okay?” Jamba asked from behind her. She cringed, she felt herself fight the urge to turn and slap him, ask him how alright he expected her to be. Because people were looking at her, she smiled icily and nodded. Jamba walked back to the house, claiming he was going to check on the food.

Ten minutes later, everybody’s eyes followed Rosa as she walked to the house.

“What is she going to do?” Jamba’s mother demanded, attempting to stand up.

“Sit…sit down. She’s probably going to the toilet…”

“She could use the long-drop ones outside…”

They all laughed. “Do you really see her using those ones? I bet she has never used one…” Julia’s mother smirked. It was the first time Kamaria had heard her voice. What she wanted to tell them was she had never used long drop toilets either, but she did not want anyone putting her on the same side with Rosa.

****

When Jamba walked into the house with his mental tail between his shamed legs, he had nothing in particular to do inside. He just wanted to get away from the venom he was getting from outside, venom he could now taste. Leaning on the water dispenser near the kitchen door, he drank four glasses of water, just to have something to do as he gave himself a dress down. He knew he deserved it -  in fact, if one of them had decided to slap him, something he was sure they all wanted to do, he would have turned the other side, then the other one again. He felt ripe to be abused, perhaps that way, his common sense would be restored to factory settings.

 What had he done? What was he thinking? How had he imagined he could get away with inviting Rosa and Serah, in the presence of people closest to him? People who loved and respected him? He was sure they thought he had finally lost his marbles; sure, as he stood by the dispenser and as they sat in the tent, they were discussing the kind of help they would have to force on him. Only a mad man would dare what he had dared. He needed to do damage control, but he had no idea where to start. In fact, he was certain no damage control would suffice. What he decided to do was concentrate on his daughter’s happiness, he would deal with everything else, including consequences, later. With purpose, he started walking back, only to bump into Rosa as she came in. The same spot he had bumped into Serah earlier.

He looked at her, felt hate for her, hate he knew she did not deserve, and then tried to go round her. She blocked his way. “Hey, what’s going on?”

 “What do you mean?” Feigning ignorance was easier than telling her how much he detested her at that point.

“You are avoiding me…” She screeched.

Oh no, I cannot deal with hysteria. “I am not. This is my daughter’s birthday, not a date. Surely you do not expect to be the centre of attention…” Now he felt more ashamed of himself for blaming her for the current situation.

“I am sorry. I just miss you…”

“Well, have some patience, will you? This is my family…”

“You haven’t told your family about us!” She said in an accusing tone.

He smirked, finding it harder to keep his calm with every sentence. “No I haven’t, because the need has never arisen…”

“What does that mean?” She looked so hurt for a second he wanted to tell her something nice.

“That the need has never arisen….if it does, I shall tell them. Now, can we get back to the party?”

“Who is that woman?”

“What woman?” He was no snapping.  

“The one who came out hand in hand with your daughter…”

“You really are self centered, aren’t you? You want to know who she is, go out and ask her. Now, let me out…”

“Can we hug, please…”

He hugged her, immediately feeling like one desecrating on a holy spot. Rosa moved to kiss him. He turned quickly, pulling a neck vein. He ouched and pushed her away, gently. “Don’t, please. Not now.” He was rubbing his neck, hoping the pulled vein did not give him problems later. He opened the door, walked out and shut it behind her. He did not want to walk out with Rosa.

Good move because all eyes, even those of the children who had been gathered to eat, were on him. Like Kamaria earlier, he felt like an item on a museum display.

He washed his hands for the second time, served himself and quietly took a seat next to Sudi, where he felt safest under the circumstances. “You are an idiot.” Sudi whispered without turning to him. Jamba pulled down his glasses and started eating. His parents were discussing how tasty the food was, the same food that tasted so bland he felt like he was chewing sawdust.

He looked at Kamaria who was chewing on a piece of meat, slowly. She also had her sunglasses  on but he could swear she was looking at him. Her expression was however flat. He knew how it felt to be the item with the least character on a museum display.  

______________________

Everybody finished eating. When Kamaria and Chichi gathered the plates and took them to the kitchen, they had ignored Rosa’s group’s, leaving their plates on the grass with half eaten food.  The children returned to the play area, except Christine and two of her friends. Christine had to be coerced not to sit on Kamaria’s lap again. She was sitting next to her. The laughter was back, people were drinking more and faster. Even Julia’s parents seemed more relaxed and giggly. Despite herself, she smiled behind her glasses. She had already taken two glasses of wine and Jamba’s father, who seemed determined to get her drunk, had just filled her glass again.

“Are you not feeding her with too much alcohol?” Jamba had asked his father, a failed attempt to be accepted back to the crew.

“What do you know…I am going to take care of her as you take care of other things…” It was said like a joke, but nobody missed the deeper message.

He turned towards Rosa and her friends. They were no longer talking. They sat like they were waiting for a life sentence. He felt another wave of guilt. Then angry at Rosa. Where was her pride? Why could she not just say enough was enough with the humiliation and drive out of his compound? That would save him the trouble of eventually asking her to leave. He knew the good thing to do was to walk to them and ask them if they needed anything, but his reputation was already bad enough and he had no desire to be nice to them.

As darkness started descending, Julia’s parents suggested the cake to be cut because they had a long way to drive home. Jamba’s mother offered to help and for the first time since Kamaria arrived, she saw her standing upright.

Within minutes, Kamaria realized Rosa had replaced Jamba’s mother. She lifted her sunglasses to her forehead and looked at Rosa straight in the eye.  She did not like Rosa – she also knew she had no viable reason to dislike her, except that she was sleeping with Jamba, but looking at her, she felt a twitch of compassion. She was angry at Jamba for leading Rosa on. He had led her on as well. He had probably kissed Rosa as well. At this point and time, they were sorority sisters. It did not mean she was ready to be Rosa’s friend, so she turned away.

She was angry with Jamba, but she decided she was equally to blame. The existence of Rosa was not a secret, she should have asked about her. But, on what grounds would she have asked about her? She and Jamba were not an item, he could date whoever he wanted to date. Still, why had he kissed her? Perhaps, if he had not kissed her so passionately, she would have easily accepted Rosa’s presence. Now she felt used for believing his words, his passionate kiss, his touch, his hug. Why would he hurt her so bad?

She had been plotting her escape from the moment she had seen Rosa. The only reason she had not yet left was she needed her escape to be without drama. She did not feel the energy to explain to anyone, especially Jamba’s parents, why she needed to go. She could have stormed out, but Jamba’s family and friends were so nice to her, she felt she owed them some respect. Jamba did not deserve accolades that included her storming out in a huff.

As far as she was concerned, whatever she and Jamba had was over. She did not want to be his friend. She did not want to ever see him again. She felt she had been left with no choice but to quit her job since she could not expect him to stop visiting R&R. She would change her number. Move out of Ruaka. Her stint of double life had come to an abrupt end. Thanks to Jamba. And her stupid heart.

“So… do I know you?” Rosa tapped her shoulder. She had waited until it was just the two of them as Jamba’s father had excused himself to go to the toilet.

Kamaria shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. I certainly do not know you.” She was willing to be nice to Jamba’s family, but that favour did not extend to Rosa. Even if Jamba was not in the equation, she was sure she would still dislike Rosa.

“You just look so... familiar…”

Kamaria shrugged and pulled down her sunglasses even though the bright sun was now disappearing  into the Western horizon. She took her wine glass and drank half of what was in it, deciding she would deal with her hangover when the time came.

“How do you know Jamba?” Rosa tapped her again, relentless.

“Don’t tap me again, I don’t like it. Why are you asking me anyway? Ask him…”

“Relax, I am just making conversation…” Rosa had clearly not expected the reaction. She was the type of girl who brought out admiration from many girls. Even the ones who did not like her lacked the guts to speak to her like Kamaria did.

“No, you are not. I am not stupid. Do you know everybody here?” She asked, sweeping her hand across the busy guests. Sudi was the only one still on the seat, but he was busy on the phone and not paying attention to her. Rosa shook her head. “So why are you picking on me?”

Rosa sighed. “Okay. I will be honest. I have seen the way Jamba is looking at you, the way he is treating you and I don’t like it. I am his girlfriend you know…”

Kamaria smirked. “Bitch, why is it my fault the way he is looking at me?” She was glad they were not within ear shot of the rest of the group. She hardly ever cussed. Even when she did, it was not in anger, rather in pain, like when she cut herself with a knife. “Look, if your boyfriend has a roaming eye, perhaps you need to gorge it out. Don’t go following innocent people. For the record, I am not interested in him – I am obviously not his type, going by the way you look…” She gave Rosa a once over and turned away.

“What’s wrong with the way I look?”

She did not turn to her. “Who said there is anything wrong? I just referred to it, and look at me, plain Jane. But to answer your first question, I am the waitress at his favorite pub. Now, leave me alone…”

Rosa gasped. Kamaria did not see it, but Rosa opened her mouth to say something, then changed her mind and snapped it shut. She looked around the crowd, and then staggered back to her friend. Kamaria wondered if the staggering was caused by the realization of who her rival was, or from the alcohol. She saw her and her friends bring their heads together, talking animatedly. Kamaria smiled. If for nothing else, she would be happy for causing such discomfort to Rosa.

She then sent a location pin to Fumo. Somehow, she was going to sneak out of this place. The kei-apple and the barbed wire and the high gate with security guards were not going to keep her here.

Everybody made a circle around the two-tier Princess Sofia cake, with the children pushing and jostling around it. The grownups, except her, were busy trying to control the unruly children. She stood quietly behind. With Jamba standing near and both grandmothers helped Christine cut the cake.  

Then it was time to give and unwrap the presents. That was when Rosa and her friends joined in. The grandparents gave her shoes and dresses. The couple from France gave a Teddy Bear, Sudi and his wife gave her a voucher for a toy store, so did Jamba.

“…And…saving the best for last…” Rosa cut in through the crowd, holding branded bags from her shop. “Look what I brought you…” It was a purple handbag, a dress and a pair of purple doll shoes. “The colour of royalty. Daddy told me what you like, so I got them for you…”

“Thank you… I love them.” Christine said excitedly, giving Rosa a hug. Nobody made a comment. Then Christine started looking around. “Where is Serah.” Kamaria emerged from behind everyone, holding her bag. “What did you bring for me?” She demanded, already jumping up and down.

She gave her the first of the three gift wrapped boxes. “Why don’t you check what is inside…”

She unwrapped a brown skinned doll. “Daddy! Daddy! Look what Serah got me…” She was waving it up and down, then hugged Kamaria’s legs, swaying her.

“Watch out. You will make the poor girl fall…” Jamba’s mother warned, pulling Christine away.

“Wow! How did you manage that? I have been looking for that kind of doll for months…” Jamba asked, impressed along everybody else.

She shrugged. “I got lucky…” She wasn’t going to tell them that she ordered it online and paid and arm and a leg. “Come on Christine, open this…” She handed her a second box.

Christine was tearing off the wrapping paper with urgency. When she finally revealed the secret, she screamed and started crying. Inside was a little Zanta Adeyde bag. “I got another handbag – I like this one better….thank you so much!” She almost knocked Kamaria off again with another leg hug. Kamaria noticed the shocked silence that had befallen. She knew what they were all thinking – how she could afford what she was giving Christine. The joy on the girl’s face would make up for all the anger she was feeling at that moment, and she would leave with a bang.  

“That’s a Zanta Adeyde. Are they available second hand?” It was Rosa who finally asked what everyone probably wanted to ask. She was huffing and unable to hide it.

Kamaria turned to give her a long look before answering. “Of course it’s not. Us waitresses can sometimes get lucky and make good money from our rich clients, you know…” She was deliberately insinuating that she got the money from Jamba but this point, all she was looking for was some satisfaction and making everybody uncomfortable was giving her just that. Rosa walked away in the same huff.

She still had a box with Christian’s present but she decided not to take the limelight from Christine. She would give it to Jamba’s mother to give him after the party.

There was little else to do but clean up, and Kamaria helped with that, keeping her distance from Jamba. With a slur, Jamba’s father said a prayer and Julia’s parents bid their goodbyes. The parents to the children came in one by one, had a piece of cake and left with their children. It was seven PM when Fumo sent a text message that he waiting outside the gate.  

An escape opportunity presented itself when Jamba walked to the house and everyone else was busy licking off the last cake or drinking or talking. Rosa and her friends were still huddled together. Glad she had not brought a handbag with her, she tied her sweater around her waistline. Pretending to be on the phone, she walked towards the gate. She tipped the watchman and entered the waiting double cabin pick-up.

_____________________

Five minutes later, Jamba noticed her absence.

“Where is Serah?” His panicky loud voice got everyone’s attention. No one knew where she was. He hurried back to the house, searched every room, under the beds too. Kitchen. Mary and the other girls helping in the kitchen had not seen her. All the toilets were unoccupied. He didn’t want to admit, but he knew she had left. He hurried back outside and informed everyone Serah was missing.

“She must be around here…I saw her talking on the phone over there…” His mother said, pointing towards the gate. As they searched the compound, Rosa and her friends finally had enough and left without bidding goodbye.

“Why don’t you ask the watchman if he has seen her…” Sudi suggested after ten minutes of futile search.

Yes, she, left about half an hour ago. No, she didn’t say anything, but she gave me a thousand shillings. No, I don’t know why she did that. No, she did not walk. She was picked up by a car that looks like yours. No, I did not note the car plate number. Sorry sir.

Darkness had completely taken over, a good thing because Jamba did not want anyone to see how dejected he was sure he looked. He could not believe how dejected he felt.

Kamaria’s disappearance marked the end of any fun. With Rosa out of the way, everybody felt free to give him verbal hell. He took a seat, shut up and took it as he was told he deserved it. He silently agreed with them. As soon as his children were settled in bed, Sudi drove him to Serah’s. He could not reach her on phone. ‘Of course she has switched it off. What do you expect?’ Jamba asked. He asked the watchman if she had returned, he said she had not. He begged Sudi to wait with him but two hours later, Sudi was fed up and threatened to leave him. “I have to replenish all the alcohol that, thanks to you, has evaporated from my head. I feel sober…you need to decide whether you want to come with me to R&R or remain here…” Jamba agreed to go to the pub.

“You have really messed it mate…” They were at the pub, but for the first time ever, he did not sit at the counter.

“Yeah, rub it in man…”

“You deserve it. I cannot believe you would take such a risk…I know women mess your thinking, but this was a no brainer. For starters, Rosa is not someone you invite for family occasions unless you want to spoil them. Two, you do not invite Rosa and a woman like Serah…how come you didn’t tell me you are doing her, anyway?”

“Stop using that phrase, and no, I am not.”

“Why not? She is gorgeous…”

“Yeah, and then some. She is special. I didn’t feel like playing with her…I wanted something…I don’t know, more serious…”

Sudi laughed. “You want to settle down with a waitress?”

“Anything wrong with that?”

“You are defensive…look, you are a top lawyer, there are things expected of you, like not settling down with a waitress…”

“What an idiot statement!”

“Look who is calling others idiot. Don’t blame me though, blame the society…”

“Well, you can all piss off. I will settle with whoever I want to settle with. Besides, she is different…”

“I agree. She has a certain dignity about her – I sort of expected her to dare Rosa for a cat-fight. That would have been fun!” Sudi laughed, Jamba punched him hard enough to get an ouch. “Relax. Anyway, her with all the dignity, boy, can her words sting. I should know, having been a victim twice…and then, earlier Rosa had a taste of it…” Sudi burst out. When he had overhead the conversation between the two women, he had desperately wished he could have recorded it. He had tried, but his phone microphone had let him down.  

“What do you mean?”

Sudi told him. That made even Jamba laugh. “Awesome. That’s my girl…”

“Well, good luck finding her…”

“She will be back tomorrow. Her shift starts at ten AM…crossing fingers that she talks to me…”

***

And Kamaria cried. Humiliation was something she was not accustomed to and as she heaved and howled alone in the house, she vowed that would be the last time she ever allowed herself to be humiliated.

When Fumo had picked her up, she stared into the night from the back left seat. The only words she had spoken to Fumo were ‘take me to Kileleshwa.’ She had wanted to open the tear taps immediately, but she knew it would have put Fumo in an awkward situation.

In the car, she had realized that her life had just taken another major turn, second one in a year. She knew it would be a tougher turn than the decision to live poor; this one was not premeditated. It had been imposed on her by her heart, by her falling stupidly in love with a man obviously shameless enough to bring two women of interest in the same party. A man who kissed her so hard and so well, she would have given him the world at that particular moment.

She had never been in love before – not like this. She had heard and read that love hurt. Now she knew it did. Her heart, her body, were in synchronised pain, causing sporadic winces. She could still feel his kiss, as if it was happening in real time. She could feel his touch, and she moaned involuntarily.  She fumbled with the phone, desperately wanting to speak to Shani, but she did not want to see Jamba’s predictable missed calls. The phone would have to remain off. Preferably for ever.

At nine PM, she entered her apartment, a dejected woman. She ignored the light switch and walked into the darkness. Fully dressed, she went and lay on her bed. And cried. She wailed, she sobbed, she cried silently. But she cried. She only stopped when she realized that her pillow was soaking wet.

Then she sat up with a start. The pub! Malik! Wanjala! Her shift was starting at ten AM the following day, she needed to tell them she was quitting, give them enough time to make arrangements to replace her. That part of her life, she felt, was over and done with.

The only way was to call them, or go to work the following day. Going to work was not an option, she did not want to risk finding Jamba there waiting for her. Reluctantly, she switched on her phone and immediately the missed call notifications started beeping. It was worse than she had thought. Then the calls started. She disconnected them all. She dialed Malik’s number.

“What’s wrong?” Malik’s voice was alarmed.

“I am sorry for calling so late…” She could not control her voice. “I cannot come to work tomorrow…Malik, I am so sorry but I am quitting.”

“What? Why? Did something happen?” She could imagine him rubbing his forehead, glasses in his hands, in frustration.

“Something happened, but I cannot explain it now. I promise to come and explain myself. I am so sorry…”

                “Are you crying?”

                “Bye Malik. I will send a text to Wanjala. I will come and see you soon…” and she disconnected the call. Writing a text to Wanjala took longer than necessary as calls from both Malik and Jamba kept interfering. As soon as she was done, she switched off the phone again. She needed to get another SIM card with a new number.

 At midnight, she took a shower, got into comfortable clothes and went to the TV room where she spent the night watching movies and dozing off between the movies. Her days of boredom and lack of purpose were officially back. That thought filled her with dread.

________________

For ten minutes Malik kept trying to call Kamaria back. Her phone went off eventually. He dialed Jamba’s number.

“Where are you?” He asked curtly. He did not need anyone to tell him who had caused Kamaria’s distress.

Jamba was still at the pub, drinking much more than he should have, considering the following day was a working day and he had a court appearance. He walked out of the pub to answer the call. “At the pub, why?”

“Have you seen Serah?”

His heart stopped. “Why?” He asked carefully.

“Because I just got a very strange call from her. She just told me she is quitting. Now I cannot raise her on the phone…”

“Shit!” This was bad.

“What? Have you done anything to that girl?”

He sighed. “It’s complicated, Malik. I will explain when I see you. Did she say where she was?”

“No she didn’t. You do know where she lives, don’t you? Can you go there and find out if she is okay?”

“She is not there, but I will return, first thing tomorrow.”

“And Jamba, damn you if you have hurt that lovely woman. Damn you to hell…” And Malik was gone.

Jamba growled to himself. Now he was public enemy number one. His family wanted nothing to do with him, temporarily. Sudi, the only person who seemed to still want to talk to him, was rubbing it in, making his guilt worse. Serah would not talk to him. Malik had just threatened him. But none of them could make him feel worse than he already was. If he could call himself names, they would be worse than what they were all calling him. He had messed up, big time. Any fool could see that.

What was he thinking? How he had not considered the consequences was beyond him. And all that after he and Serah had shared the most amazing stolen kiss of his thirty five years. What was wrong with him? He could have asked Rosa not to come – it’s not like he was worried about hurting her feelings. But he had asked Rosa to buy the presents, presents that were eventually overshadowed by what Serah had brought. He could have made a little effort and got the presents themselves.

Presents! If he was not so preoccupied with the frightening thought of losing Serah forever, he would have been constantly thinking about Serah’s gifts to Christine. They were obviously new, and expensive. How had she done that? With a waitress salary? Why would she sacrifice so much for a kid she did not know?

And how could she tip the guard a thousand bob? Had she perhaps made a mistake and had thought it was a fifty shillings note? He had made the same mistake a couple of times.

Who was she? 

_____________

Story by Ciku Kimani-Mwaniki

Personal guinea pigs Nyambura Michuki,Ceh Gichimu, Rachel Gathoni,Carole Shiku  
My Nip & Tuck dude: Anthony Luvinzu