CHAPTER TWELVE Nairobi Cocktail, The Sleaze

The Calm Before The Storm

Two PM.

It was an afternoon of scorching sun burning bright and hot enough to melt the clouds, leaving the skies azure blue from horizon to horizon, like a single colour wall to wall carpet. The wind blew lazily, begging to take shelter from the orange ball of fire. Walkers on the grind walked in strained paces, shoulders hanging in submission to the heat, their heads covered with whatever item available to them including handbags and newspapers. 

The vehicles on the road moved slowly, as if they, like the people walking under the same sun, were succumbing to the heat. Among the vehicles caught in the snail speed traffic was big, and black, windows tinted as black as the vehicle’s colour, making it look like a big moving black blob. It belonged to Boss. 

There were four occupants in the car, two shifty eyed men who could have been twins from different mothers. They sat at the front, one driving, and both carrying guns, as they always did. Their backseat passengers were Naliaka and Boss, the air conditioning shielding them all from the non-discriminatory tropical sun. Naliaka, behind the safety of the big black blob, found herself thinking about the day she met Queen. It had been as hot as this.  

They were headed to Queen’s house, on Naliaka’s insistence. “Queen does not allow men into the compound on her birthday,” Naliaka had told Boss earlier. “But I am sure she will not mind if you come in for a bit, at least to give her the presents personally.”

So they had showered, together. Boss had slipped into a white polo shirt, blue jeans and a pair of sports shoes. Naliaka, who now had enough clothes in Boss’ closet, wore a bright yellow spaghetti top, skinny blue jeans and bright yellow sandals.

“You look extremely delicious.” Boss had remarked as he watched Naliaka apply lip gloss.

“So do you.” And she meant it. He did.

They had stopped by Two Rivers Mall. Boss had personally selected two gold chains, one with a queen’s crown amulet, the other a love heart. They stopped at a cake shop and bought a carrot cake.

“She’s gonna love you after this.” Naliaka said, hanging on Boss’ arm as they walked back to the car. “Thank you.”

“You love her,” Boss said with a shrug. “And that makes her important to me.”

She turned to hug him, wrapping her arms around his neck, her head on his chest in submission. He wrapped her waistline with his hands, squeezing her in assurance before kissing her forehead. He pushed her away gently after a little while, fishing out the chain with the love emulate and securing it around her neck. “For you, because you are gorgeous and you deserve it and you have brought much needed excitement into my life, which is scary, but I am not complaining.” He whispered and kissed her neck.

Naliaka did not bother to fight tears, they were too strong for her.

“Thank you.” She choked the words. “Apart from the stuff I used to get from Queen, nobody has ever given me a present.”

“What a shame. No worries though, this is just one of many to come.”

Hand in hand, smiles on their faces, they walked back to the car.

From the mall to Queen’s house, it was a silent journey, the body guards lost in their usual silence to concentrate on driving and looking out for trouble, the passengers lost in their own thoughts about the confusing present and the uncertain future.

Ngari the fatherly gateman was on duty. As happy as he was to see Naliaka, not even his soft spot for her could convince him to open the gate for a car with male occupants. “Queen told me not to allow any…any man here today. It’s her birthday. I am sorry Naliaka.”

It took a call to Queen to get him to open the gate. Queen was already waiting at the door when they drove in. “She reminds me of a Nigerian queen.” Boss remarked as they looked at Queen through the car window.

“How would you know about Nigerian Queens?”

“I have watched many Nigerian movies.”

Naliaka laughed. It had always been a consensus amongst the girls in Queen’s house that she, Queen, would make a good Nigerian Queen in a movie. Her heavy makeup. Her bigger than life personality and body. Her booming voice when the need arose. Her stern look and once in a while, like today, her dressing. She was dressed in a flowery purple kitenge outfit. The matching headgear could only be described as over the top. “Isn’t that thing on her head dangerous? It looks too heavy for any head…” Boss whispered amidst giggles. Naliaka shoosh’d him before opening the car door, opening her arms for Queen’s hug.

“Happy birthday my Queen …” Naliaka did a mock curtsey before hugging Queen.

 “My baby girl. How are you?” She was sizing Naliaka from arm’s length. “And how possible is it you get more beautiful every time I see you? You must be happy.”

Naliaka giggled, turning to look at Boss who was now standing behind her, hands in his pockets and hiding behind sunglasses with an expression that could have been a smile. “Queen, meet my friend, Boss…”

He took cue and stepped forward, extending his hand for a shake and using the other hand to draw up his sunglasses. “Great to finally meet you. I have heard so much about you…”

“Have you now? I wonder why I haven’t been told about you…” Queen said, shaking his hand and looking at Naliaka accusingly with a raised brow. Naliaka shrugged and grinned. “Also, you and I have something in common – we have awesome names. We must be relatives.”

They laughed.

“Sorry I brought him today, but I wanted you to meet him.”

“Trust you to be the one breaking the rules…that’s okay. At least he is optically appealing.” She peered into Boss’ car at the bodyguards. “There are two giants in the car. Are they not coming out?”

Boss swept his hand in the air. “They are fine. They stay there…unless they have to get out.”

“Oh…” Queen let her gaze linger on Boss for a while before looking at Naliaka. “Well then, you must come in and meet the other girls…”

“Are you sure? I only wanted to meet you, not to gate-crash on an all-girls party.”

Queen adjusted her headgear and grunted before turning to walk towards the house. “It’s my party, I can change the rules. Besides, the girls will be happy to see you. They are used to seeing buffoons…I declare you the party treat.” And with that, they followed Queen into the house and out to the backyard. 

It was a full blown party. Loud music. White tent. Multi coloured balloons. A food table and a bigger one for drinks. Girls dancing. Those not dancing sitting in a circle, trying to talk above the music and each other, laughing loudly. Cigarette smoke from multiple cigarettes forming itself into a genie lookalike before disintegrating into the air. All the girls wearing what Boss could only describe as small clothes, too small for their bodies, making him wonder how they were managing to breathe. Or move.

The girls spotted Naliaka. A cheer went up in her name. She waved at them. Then they saw the tall handsome man behind her and temporarily froze. Naliaka giggled. Boss pulled down his glasses and approached hesitantly. Queen was already on a seat, seemingly watching everyone at the same time. 

“Come on, they won’t eat you.” Naliaka whispered encouragingly to Boss.

“They sure look like they could. I even spot a few fangs…” he protested weakly in whispers, wishing he could just bolt off.

“Girls…girls…you can snap out of your shock now.” Queen boomed. The girls relaxed and switched to giggling, whispering at one another. “Where are your manners? We have a distinguished guest. Come on, welcome him …|

“Can we eat him?” It was Malaika who asked in between smoking.

“No you cannot…” Naliaka answered amidst laughter, taking turns to hug all the twelve women. When she was done, she turned to Boss who was standing at what he considered a safe distance, completely mesmerised by the collection of women who had all their eyes trained on him. "Say hello to my friend. His name is John…” Naliaka finally said after hugging everybody. She heard Boss chuckle.

 “Hi John…” they said in chorus.

“Hi ladies. You are all looking very beautiful…”

Boss shook all their hands. He had no memory of shaking so many hands at the same time. Especially women’s hands. In fact, he had no memory of being around so many women, a realisation that made his stomach churn. What if they touched his gonads and laughed at their softness? They sure looked like they could. The women were fearless in their gestures and one or two of them poked his palm with their fingers, making him cringe. Another couple may have pinched his bottoms, making him clench them. At least none of them went for his essentials. Two minutes later, nothing was going to make him stay longer.

“It was nice to meet you all, but I shall leave you to your party.” He announced, not bothering to tell Naliaka first. He had noticed she was getting too entertained by his discomfort.

“So soon?” Queen protested. The other girls grumbled. “I hope it wasn’t something we did…” Queen was chuckling. She had seen her girls harassing him, had wanted to rescue him but like Naliaka, she had found it extremely entertaining. “Alright then. I shall walk you to the car…”

 “John? Of all names you could have picked up, you chose John?” He asked Naliaka when they were out of earshot, Queen walking behind them.

“It’s a nice name.” Naliaka answered. “If you knew the girls, you would know introducing yourself as Boss would breed questions I am not willing to answer.”

 “It is really nice to meet you.” Queen said when they reached the car. “I could invite you back, but as you can see, I keep predators disguised as human girls. My advice is, if you ever want to return, bring Naliaka with you.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way. I felt like my life was in danger…” They laughed.

“Thank you and keep taking care of this girl. She means a lot to me.”

“We have something in common. She means a lot to me too.” Boss was looking at Naliaka. Naliaka was looking at her yellow sandals and red toenails. The two people discussing and declaring their love for her were criminals from whatever angle one looked at them from, but they were her family. They were the two people she could count on, two people who could take a bullet for her, if anyone could. “But…before I forget, I have something for you…” He dug into his pockets and removed a small box. “Happy birthday…”

It was a rare occurrence. Something she had only witnessed once since she met Queen. It had happened on the day Kaggai raped Naliaka. She saw the same raw emotions on Queen’s face. She saw tears.

“Thank you…” Queen choked, turning to Naliaka. “Where did you get this one from?” She asked, smiling through wet eyes. “I like him very much…”

“There is something else…” Naliaka went to the car and removed the cake, handing it to Queen.

Queen choked again. “I am not sure I can handle this anymore…if you have another present for me, please keep it until next year.”

Boss laughed. “It’s your lucky day, I do not have another one.” He said, kissing Queen on the cheek before turning to Naliaka and kissing her full on the mouth. “Talk to you later…” And he was inside the car, and he was gone.

The two women, holding hands and wearing smiles on their faces, watched him until he disappeared out of the gate.

“Wow…” Queen turned to Naliaka. “I…I am speechless. Who is he?”

Naliaka shrugged, still looking towards the gate. “My friend…”

Queen, who had recovered some composure at this point, chuckled. “I am not stupid. That man is head over heels in love with you and is way beyond friend zone. I am also thinking he is not a pastor.” She nudged Naliaka knowingly. “He does know what we do…what you do?” 

Naliaka turned to look at Queen and nodded. “That is how I met him…”

“Oh wow. At some point I am going to have to hear all about him. He seems…what can I say, he looks like the kind of guy who would understand this life.” She pointed at her house. “Right now though, I am too overwhelmed with feelings I am not familiar with. I need to calm down…come on, we need to eat and drink…did you start drinking alcohol?” Queen was already walking back to the car.

“No, but to toast your birthday, I will have a glass of wine….”

“Good. You may need it to remain calm because I can promise you, those girls will have millions of questions for you. I am happy for you Naliaka…you deserve to be happy.”

Two hours into the party, two hours of answering questions with untruthful answers about Boss, her phone beeped with a message. She read it and smiled, calling the girls to attention.

“Girls, does anyone want to go out to town?”

Over half of them did. The rest looked on hesitantly.

“Your lucky day. John just sent me some money to treat you all…”

“What, like go out to the city? All of us? And not pay for it?” It was Malaika, pausing a cigarette halfway to the mouth.

“Yes. Like go out to mingle…”

“Count me in. I can’t dance, but I am very good at keeping watch of the bags, and punching anyone misbehaving towards any of you…” Julia volunteered.

In the end, even the hesitant ones wanted to join. “Just make sure there is no funny business. You all come back here before two AM.” Queen warned them as they entered five taxis.

“Yes m’am!”

***

Samuel spent his day sorting the inconveniences caused by having his car stolen.  He cancelled his bank cards over the phone, appreciating the wisdom of never carrying all his bank cards with him. He took a taxi to the police station to report his lost identity card. He spoke to insurers about the car and the phone. At two PM, just about the same time Naliaka and Boss were pulling into Queen’s house, his temporary replacement car was delivered by his insurer. He took it for a test drive to a mall nearby to get himself a phone.

At five PM, sitting behind his computer in the house and trying to make sense of the reports about his clearing and forwarding business, the grumbling of his stomach and sudden surge of acid reminded him he had neglected his stomach for hours. Happy to abandon the reports he could not make sense of, he warmed some leftover meat and ugali from the day before. 

Seven PM, he showered and headed to town, to the same pub. The same pub Naliaka had taken her friends.

Like the night before, he had little hope of bumping into Kiki there, even less than the night before. The universe would have to be perfectly aligned in his favour, and he did not fancy his chances.

But she was there. Sitting with several loud and boisterous women who all seemed to be on supercharge. Except Kiki. She sat, back straight, one palm supporting her chin, looking at the women with what seemed like mild amusement. She laughed, but her laughter, unlike those of the other women that were full of gestures, was measured, contained to giggles and chuckles. She looked out of place, yet she seemed to fit right in.

From a different corner table, he watched them, taking in all the different ages, sizes, skin tones, his curiosity rising. Who were they? Was it a chama meeting? There was something about their attitude, something that seemed to give the middle finger to the world, that gravitated him to believe they were hookers. Or were they under Boss’ employ, like Kiki? Were they part of the band of thieves that helped to terrorise the city with car thefts? He was not the only one studying them, they were difficult to ignore. The men looked at them, either with lust or mild disgust. The other women looked on with collective mistrust.  

Samuel’s eyes roamed the rest of the pub. He was looking for Kamau and his sidekick, or a couple of others like them. They were not there. Kiki’s presence seemed to be purely recreational.

He removed his phone and called Kerubo.

“Oh lord…are you out again?” She greeted, referring to the noise.

“Of course. I am lonely without you…”

“Please. You are just horny. Where are you?”

“Back to the same pub.”

“You never learn, do you?”

“Kiki is here…” He said instead.

Kerubo paused. “Are you with her?”

“Not yet. I don’t think she is out robbing vehicles tonight. She seems to be having a girls’ night out.”

“She can afford it. She made a killing with your Mercedes…”

He laughed uneasily, finding Kerubo’s tone disconcerting but thinking he could get used to the jealousy that Kiki’s name triggered in Kerubo. “The boys are not here though. I am safe. I am going to talk to her.”

“Please don’t get yourself killed. Not for her. We can find out about Boss through other means.”

“I will be careful, I promise.” He paused. “How was your day?”

Kerubo sighed. “Long. I am still having my hair braided…”

“Why so late?”

“The hairdresser had a busy day. It was either I get braided late or early tomorrow, but we leave early in the morning.” There was an expectant pause, one that Samuel felt through the phone. “Will I see you tomorrow?”

Samuel held his breath and sat up straight. Did he just hear a pleading tone from Kerubo? “Do you want to see me?” He asked cautiously. He was not sure how to deal with a seemingly emotional Kerubo.

“Do you?” She asked instead.

“You know I do, but…”

“But you will be going home with her. I get it. Don’t worry about it, just do whatever you need to do…”

“Kerubo…are you alright?”

Another sigh. “I am fine. Just ignore me I am probably ovulating.” She laughed, a laughter that was anything but happy. “Honestly, it’s alright. Just be careful and let me know if you find out anything. Be careful.”

Minutes after he ended his conversation with Kerubo, he was still staring at his phone in confusion. ”Perhaps the fresh air in Nyeri is making her mushy…” He muttered to himself and shrugged, turning back his attention to Kiki’s table.  He made a beeline for the table, approaching her from behind.

He tapped her shoulder. When Naliaka turned to see her tapper, she did so with a smile, thinking it was one of the girl. The smile froze on seeing Samuel, then it slowly turned into what could have been fright. The rest of the table went quiet. “We meet again…”

“Samuel…” She whispered.

“Kiki. How are you?”

“This is too much!” It was Malaika, declaring in feigned exasperation and lighting a cigarette she had been holding. Samuel gave her a quick smile, knowing the club bouncers would be arriving to ask her to put out the cigarette. “She gets all the good looking guys and what do we get? Baboons!”

“Malaika shut up!” Janet whispered roughly, but Samuel laughed. 

“I will take that as a complement.” He said to Malaika who in response blew smoke towards him. “Can I talk to you?” He asked, turning to Kiki who had managed to compose herself. 

“Now?”

“Now.”

“I am with my friends…”

“I am sure they can take care of themselves. Come on, twenty minutes…”

Reluctantly, she allowed him to hold her hand and lead her towards the exit. Unlike the previous night, there was no flirting, just pregnant silence.

“You got another car?” She asked when he opened the car for her.

“Not as luxurious but it’s a car…”

“Nice.”

“Get in…”

“I can’t leave my friends.”

He probed her in. “You are not. I just want to talk. In the car…”

For a minute, they sat in silence.

“How are you? After last night I mean?”

She shrugged, crossing her hand across her chest. A little part of her had feared that he knew she had been part of the robbery. His whole attitude still made her uncomfortable. “I am okay I guess. You?”

He shrugged in turn. “I am fine. And alive. That’s what matters, right? One has to appreciate a robber who doesn’t hurt them. If I could, I would get in touch with those guys and thank them?

Naliaka swallowed hard.

“Anyway, I have something for you…”

“What?” 

He bent across to the glove compartment and removed a box, handing it to her.

“A phone?” She asked in shock. “For me?” He nodded. As Naliaka took it with shaky hands, she thought she must have done something good to impress the universe. Two men giving her expensive presents on the same day deserved to go down in history. Subconsciously, she touched her chain. “Why?”

“Why? Because I feel responsible, that your phone was stolen. Also, because I can afford one…”

“It wasn’t your fault, and I can afford one also…” She said guiltily, knowing her phone was safely inside her purse.

“I didn’t say you could not. But I wanted to.” 

“How did you know you would find me?”

“I didn’t, but I live in hope. Plus, we have unfinished business…”

She went silent.

“Would you come to my house with me? Tonight?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know…”

“Why don’t you know? We had a deal yesterday, a deal that was rudely interrupted but still a deal. What has changed?” He was peering at her through the dark, wishing he could see her expression. Nothing told a story more honestly than facial expressions, he always believed. It was the reason he had mastered the art of poker face.

She looked back towards the club. “My friends…I made them come out…”

“They all seem like grownups.” She didn’t answer. “Alright. Here is the deal. You stay as long as you want but when it’s time to leave, you leave with me…”

“Are you giving me a choice?”

He shook his head. “Let’s put it this way; I will do anything to go home with you, anything short of kidnapping you…”

She sighed, thinking there was nothing to lose, and that she really did want to go home with him. “Okay. Let me think about it. Can we get back inside?”

***

Morning after.

Boss was in a happy place mentally; happy enough not to hit the punching bag in his home gym like he had something against it, like it was responsible for every bad card that life had dealt him. He still punched it with fury because it was the only way to hit a punching bag, countless times, until his muscles threatened to lock, until the sweat running down his body started sprinkling the floor around him, making patterns. He stopped suddenly, hugging the punching bag, allowing it to see-saw with him until it, the punching bag, calmed down. 

He had been in the gym for an hour, something he did on a daily basis, at least whenever he did not have a painful hangover. Working out was his perfect antidote for stress, his escape from grim realities that haunted his life, and his way to keep his body looking the way it did. Today’s gym session was different because throughout, through the sweat and humping, he smiled.

Naliaka. That’s who was making him smile. He dared to think he loved her, like a man could love a woman. He dared to imagine himself settling down with her, perhaps leaving his evil ways behind him and making a couple of babies with her. It’s not like he needed the money he made from crime because, unlike most of his peers, he had invested heavily in real estate, and there were two car yards that actually did genuine car sales. If he never got involved in crime again, he would not have to change his lifestyle. But he was the Don, and as much as people thought Dons held the ultimate crime power, he knew different. He could not just walk away, not without endangering his life and the lives of people close to him. He was the ultimate power, but only on the streets. Off the streets were higher powers, powers that controlled him like one would control a puppet. The uncomfortable fact was that, he did not know most of them, but he was working on it. They could be anyone from the shoe shiner at the street corner or the president.

Besides being controlled by unseen forces, there was, of course, the little, literally and otherwise, matter of his manhood, a matter that would inhibit his desire to settle down with Naliaka, or any woman. As he stripped off to get into the bathroom, he let his hand grope his balls, squeezing them softly. He smiled. He smiled because there was tangible hope that he would one day stand with other men. His manhood has been encouraging over time. When he was grinding on top of Naliaka, usually fully clothed, when he was giving her oral pleasure, when he listened to her moaning with pleasure, his penis danced with the tune.

His scatterbrain led him to think about his roots, about parents back in the village. Usually, it was easy to suppress thoughts of his parents. Not today. Today he would think about them, he would allow them to cloud his mind. He would allow himself to miss them, to feel guilty that he had literally abandoned them.

It has been over ten years since he last saw his parents. When he was a naïve nineteen year old with big dreams, dreams about going to Industrial Area and making a decent living. He laughed a little about that thought, how he had thought working as a casual worker in Industrial Area could have made him wealthy. How different his life had turned out, all because someone took advantage of his trusting village personality and drugged him, while others sodomised him. He thought about Mato, a man he missed every day. How Mato was the reason he did not walk away from the street family, how he had inherited the street family, a family that still lived at the corner of his house so he could keep an eye on them. How he still controlled that family, used them for street intelligence, recruited them to join his band of robbers.

He thought about Monde the cripple, another instrument of his destiny, the same Monde who had ushered him to another level of crime. Monde, like Mato, had died and left him devastated, but Monde’s death had opened a whole new world for him, a world of crime bosses and assassinations and corrupt law makers and enforcers. He wondered how his life would have turned up if he had not met all those people. Would he still be in Industrial Area, or would he have returned to the village? Would he have joined university to study engineering? His grades, grades he had only collected years after they were out, had allowed him to join university. He remembered sitting in Mr Choka’s house, opposite Mr Choka, like they used to sit when he lived with him. He studied his results, ones Mr Choka had kept with him, and for a moment, he had considered joining university, considered making his parents proud. But it was too late.

His criminal life had already taken precedence over all else.

How had he had the guts to go see his teacher, Mr Choka, but never his parents? How had he been alright visiting them, like an unseen thief at night, but unlike a thief at night, he gave money to them instead of taking it from them? What did his parents think he did for a living? Were they happy or scared that the money he brought them increased tenfold as time went by?

His intense feelings towards Naliaka were making him mellow. Mellow enough to seriously consider showing his face to his parents. To consider walking out of his criminal activities, but he knew better than anyone that this was a near impossible thing. Criminals, especially his class of criminals, did not just walk away. Usually they died. Or they would have to be extremely clever about how they walked out. He needed to start working on his retirement plan.

He was tired, and there were things happening on the streets that could signify the end of his reign.

***

Kitengela.

Naliaka, wearing Samuel’s oversized tee-shirt and nothing underneath, stood at the balcony looking beyond the white Kitengela dust, into the vast land stretching for miles. If she squinted her eyes, she could see what she was sure was the peak of a mountain.

“Kilimanjaro…” Samuel said, joining her at the balcony, carrying two glasses of freshly squeezed juice.

“What?”

He used his mouth to point at the mountain as he handed her one glass. “That right there, is Mount Kilimanjaro. I could tell that’s what you were looking at. Watching it during clear skies is my favourite pastime …”

She turned to look back at it, sipping the juice. “I have never seen a mountain higher than Ngong Hills…”

“Really? I love mountains. I have climbed every mountain in East Africa.” He had, when he was in the army. Less so since he left, but only because he did not have enough time to do that. “I could take you mountain climbing if you like…” He stood beside her at the balcony, wearing a pair of boxer shorts.

Kerubo, the one woman he always thought should have been in the army for she was both physically and mentally fitter than many men he knew in the army, was the only person he had ever gone mountain climbing with. She gave him a run for his money on Mount Kenya. She had run up Longonot, and he had run with her, but only because he could not let her think she was better than him. He wondered, with Kerubo’s current jealous mood, what she would think about his offer to take Kiki Mountain climbing.

She laughed uneasily. “I would die. I am so unfit.”

“That’s a strange thing because you have the body of someone who works out.”

“I just have a good metabolism, and the fact that I am not that interested in food.” She laughed.

“So what you have is a must-starve body as opposed to must-have body?”

“Precisely.”

They went quiet, both looking at the mountain peak, glittering like a star against the sun.

It was the morning after a night full of passion. The only reason they had stopped having sex was because they had run out of condoms and Samuel was still debating on whether or not to go to the shops for more. But then again, what they were having at the moment, talking about nothing and looking at nature miles away, was awesome.

Earlier on, he had prepared a heavy breakfast, one she had hardly touched but had consumed most of the freshly squeezed juice. She was still asking for more.  

“What’s your favourite food?”

“Oh…nothing really.”

“You cannot, not have a favourite dish…”

“I don’t, honest. I am either hungry or I am not. When I am hungry I eat what is available, otherwise I pretty much ignore food.”

“What do you want me to make for lunch?” He asked in near frustration.

She turned to look at him. She studied his face, looking for clues about what he was up to. “Aren’t you going to ask me to cook for you?”

He laughed, like it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. “Why would I do that? In fact, I do not like people to cook for me,” that was only partly true because when he was on the streets, he had no choice but to let Kerubo cook his meals, but he was alright with that because Kerubo was a great cook. Other times, the kitchen was his kingdom. If he had not chosen to be in the army, he would have become a chef.  “I do not like people in my kitchen…”

She laughed. “Okay…how about you cook whatever you like, I promise I will eat it. Also, let me sit with you in the kitchen, then you can tell me about yourself…”

“On one condition.”

“What?”

“That you also tell me about yourself…”

“Deal…”

***

In the end, Samuel decided not to waste his complicated culinary skills where they may not have been appreciated. He put together a vegetable stir fry that took ten minutes to cook, dry fried the lamb he had meant to roast and boiled the rice. He served at the balcony. The mountain peak had been swallowed by the clouds, but they still sat facing it.

“This is really tasty…” Naliaka remarked. She was using her fingers to pick the meat, licking them slowly with every bite.

Samuel laughed. “I hope you are not just saying that to make me feel good. This is one of the most basic meals on my menu.”

“You are a show off.” She quipped. “But I am not lying. It’s really tasty.”

“Well, thank you.”

“You always have beer with your lunch?”

He nodded. “Whenever I can, yes. I am away a lot, and I am not able to drink when I am away. When I can, I make up for it by drinking too much.”

She turned to look at him. “Why are you away a lot?”

“Mh…is this where we start talking about ourselves?”

She shrugged, a knot in her stomach. She still had not decided how much truth she would mix with the lies. She was still confused as to why she felt compelled to tell her life story to a total stranger, except that she really felt like. He was different, but she could not pick out what it was that made her feel both vulnerable and relaxed to want to talk about herself. It could have been because he was human to her – she did tend to be mellow towards men who treated her not as a prostitute, a vessel, but as a human. The very reason she liked Father Joshua, and as much as she was aware Boss was primarily and initially good to her because of his selfish reasons, it was the same reason she had a seriously soft spot for him.

Samuel was the same, but different. He was almost too good to be true, he most likely was – she may have been seeing things that did not exist. How could such a good looking man, a man who was obviously doing very well for himself financially, a man, who unlike Boss, could hold his own in bed, a man, unlike Father Joshua, did  not have to result to prostitutes because they were disposable? How had he escaped the claws of many upright and beautiful women out there?

How was he treating her so well? How was he so interested to know her story? To tell her, a prostitute and a stranger, his own story?

She sighed. “Might as well. It’s already two PM and at some point I would have to leave.”

“Why can’t you stay?”

“Because I refuse to charge you for last night. I am not willing to give two nights for free?”

“You mean last night was on the house?”

She giggled. “You could say that, although I think the new phone more than compensates.”

“Stay. I will pay for tonight…” He was trying to lock his eyes to hers, his hand holding hers. He did not want her to go. She let him hold the hand, even squeezed his, but she refused to look at him. Earlier, when Samuel was in the kitchen and she was still looking at the disappearing peak, Boss had called and asked if she would be going to see him. She had accepted, more out of guilt.

“No. Not tonight. Maybe another time? There is someone I have to see tonight.”

He let go her hand and nodded. He did not need to ask who the ‘someone’ was. It had to be Boss. What he would have wanted to ask was if she was going to see him as a lover, or as an employee. He could not decide which among the two reasons he preferred. He sipped on his beer and took a bite of his food, wondering what has gotten into him, why he was having feelings he should not have been having towards this woman. Feelings that were so obvious, even Kerubo could tell from afar.

“Next time would have to be when I return. I am leaving town in two days.” It was not entirely true. He still had another five days out here, but the five days were packed with plans. He still had not spent time with Kerubo, for the sake of his sanity, and to reassure her of his undying loyalty. He had not gone to give his report to Onyango, and that took a whole day. He still needed to spend a day or two with the manager who run his company in his absence.  

“I will give you my number then you can call me when you are around next time.” She turned to him. “So, what is it you do?”

Another sip of his beer to wash down the food. “Why don’t we start with the easy stuff, yours?”

She laughed, genuinely amused. “Dude, I am a prostitute. How can mine be the easy stuff?”

He turned to look at her seriously. “I am telling you, yours is the easy stuff. How did you end up doing this?” He knew part of her story. He needed to hear it from her, to see how much truth she would disclose. From that, he would know how much truth of his own to tell.

She squeezed her glass with both hands, looking away, this time not at the peak but away from it. “I thought you said you are not interested in why I do what I do…”

“What I am not interested in is trying to redeem you but it would be interesting to know how you ended up auctioning yourself…”

She chuckled. “Auctioning…that’s a new one.”

“So…why?”

She sighed again, took his beer from his hand and sipped it, cringing from the taste but going ahead to do it for the second time. “This stuff is nasty…”

“I know. Why are you drinking?”

She shrugged. “What do they call it…something courage…”

“Dutch. Dutch courage.” He laughed.

“Yeah…it’s a very tasteless story…”

“Let me be the judge of that…”

So she did. She told him about the day her mother died, how she had met Queen a few minutes before finding out about her mother’s death, how Queen had rescued her when she was on the verge of being evicted, on the verge of starving to death. She did not refer to Queen as Queen, instead using the word Madam. She did not reveal Queen’s location, Ndenderu was referred to as ‘somewhere’.

“Three years in that house, I was craving for freedom, so I left.”

“Do you still see the madam?”

“Oh yes. She…how can I put it? She is the mother I do not have. She really is an awesome woman.”

“That’s debatable, but life has a way of dealing us difficult cards.”

“Like it did me. Now, society thinks I am scum, just because I took charge of my sex life and used it to feed me. What society would have preferred I do was to get married to a man I did not love, at seventeen. The man would have most likely abused me, physically, sexually and emotionally. Then society would have stepped in, not to help me, but to feel sorry for me.” She paused to chuckle. “You know, when the madam took me in, she told me something about society preferring sexually suppressed women. That men will use you for sex one way or another, but we as women have a choice to turn it to our advantage, screw the society. Those words ring true every day.”

“Interesting perception. But does that mean that you do not believe in happy endings?”

She shrugged. “I am sure there are many, many happy endings that do not make it to the headlines, but I also know there are many tragic endings, endings that could be avoided if only women were sexually empowered enough to walk away from doomed relationships.” She thought about Janet and her abusive husband. “If only society did not frown upon women who seem to be enjoying sex. Why, for instance, are we the prostitutes, yet you, as my customer, gets away with it?”

He shrugged. “What can I say, tt’s a man’s world. But if it makes you feel better, I am a prostitute, but I am the paying side of prostitute.”

She laughed out loud, glad he was not trying to defend the men.

“Purely out of curiosity, do you ever imagine settling down?”

“Ha! Like settling down in marriage? With children and stuff?”

“Correct.”

“ Who would settle down with an ex-prostitute?”

“Oh…a lot of people, I am sure. I know I would.”

She flashed him a smile. “You do not have to be nice like that. I know you wouldn’t – I think the only people who would settle down with someone like me are criminals…”

For a short second, Samuel’s heart paused. That was the closest she had come to making reference to Boss. “They are the people without conscience, the only people who would not judge people like me…”

“Not strictly true, but that’s a discussion for another day. So, are you actively looking for a criminal to settle down with?”

She laughed and looked at the peak. “I wouldn’t say actively looking, but in my line of work, I have met several nice ones, criminals, I mean. Perhaps, if and when I am ready to settle down, I will vet them…”

He swallowed that. Perhaps she was already vetting. Perhaps Boss was scoring higher than other criminals.

She took a deep breath, turning to him with a tired smile that made him guilty that he had made her tell her story. It was a sad story, he owned a sad story himself, and only he knew too well how draining recounting such stories could be. But also, he knew they relieved the soul. He had only told one person his story, Kerubo, who also owned rights to her own sad story. He had poured out his heart to her in bed, and he had told her everything, the hurt, the pains, the gains, the regrets. 
Samuel processed her story, disappointed that she did not tell what he was interested in. There was no mention of Boss or a character resembling Boss. Obviously, she did not trust him enough with such details. He could not blame her because it was not like he was willing to tell her his whole truth. 

 “Enough about me, let’s see whose life sucks more…”

 “Well, my dear one, I am in the army.” That was the lie he had chosen. He would, he decided, avoid lies, but he would be economical with the truth. She would get a sanitised version of what he had told Kerubo years ago.

“Like, Kenya army?” She was looking at him with a new fascination. She had never met an army officer.

“Yes. KDF, Kenya Defence Forces. Obviously, I work in sensitive places so forgive me if I do not give you any details…”

“Fighting terrorists…”

“And then some. Also, I own a clearing and forwarding company.”

“Oh. When do you get to run it?”

“I don’t. Being stuck in an office would be the worst punishment for me.”

She laughed, then felt some sadness that she never got to experience an office job. She stopped herself short of blaming Queen and instead blamed her mother’s death. Her mother’s death had set of a chain reaction that was still reacting may years down the line. If her mother had not died, she would never have reached out to Queen. But also, if her mother had lived, there was no way of telling if she would have ended up working in some office, no way of telling if she would have graduated in high school because they had already been struggling with her school fees. No, Queen was her saviour. She had spent enough time on the streets, she had listened to tens of stories of women who came in and out of Queen’s lair, and she knew she had had it lucky by being Queen’s protégée.

“But why start a company you hate running?”

“I didn’t…” He said, then paused. When Naliaka looked at him, he had this distant look.

“Who did?”

“My late parents.” He paused again. The rest of the story was the truth, and he needed to sift through to remove the lies he may have believed himself. “Well, my father, really. He had an awesome business brain but unfortunately, that was the only good thing about him.”

“Oh…”

“I know we shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, but I say screw that. I am an only child, at least I thought I was, for the longest time. I didn’t turn out the way my father would have wanted. I did not inherit his brain, meaning school was a struggle for me. I got whooped so much for being nearly at the bottom of the class, it didn’t matter anymore…’

“Sorry…” She didn’t know what to say, but she felt pressure to say something when he paused to sip his beer.

He swished the air dismissively, but his hard line face remained. “I grew up in violence and with a father who was constantly ashamed of me. He called me a woman enough times…” He laughed. “Like being a woman was the worst thing that could happen to anyone. The strongest people I know are women. Anyway, he told me I should have just been born one because I was weak. I was the kid who got beat up by other kids in the neighbourhood during fights, and whenever I came home with a black eye, he would give me another one.”

“Gosh…your mom?”

“What could she do? She got as good, or bad in this case, as I did.”

Naliaka took a deep breath before asking the next question. “But you do not look like a guy who could be bullied.”

He shrugged. “I was bullied, even by those who were victims of bullies. When I joined secondary school, I was bullied and humiliated constantly and because it was a boarding school, my mother was not there to reassure me, to nurse my wounds. It finally hit me that I was the only one who could take care of myself.  When I went home for holidays, I joined the gym and did karate. By the end of the year, I had become the bully. Life was quite smooth after that and I learned lessons I still carry with me today…” He smiled at this.

“I sat for my final exams and failed, at least according to my father. According to me, I had done pretty well because they were the best results I had ever posted. I had worked hard on them. But not being admitted to university was the ultimate humiliation for my father. He attempted to hit me, I blocked his hand and squeezed it as a warning. I needed him to know I was tired of his violence, that I could stand up to him…”

“Wow…”

“He retreated, but he told me to move out of his house. That if I thought I was man enough to fight him, I was man enough to look after myself.”

“Where did you go?”

“I got a house. My mom funded it. She  hd been stealing money from dad when he was drunk and had a nice stash hidden in the store, somewhere dad would never have gone. She was not a thief, but he was a rich man who never was generous to his wife. So she stole, and put it away. I think her plan was to leave him at some point, but she gave up her dream for me. Four months she paid my rent, funded my food and alcohol…and I did drink a lot. Then I joined the army because I could not afford college, and I wanted to do something. It was the best decision I ever made.’

“How…how did your parents die?”

He faced the peak before continuing. “I could just summarise it and say that dad killed mom…”

Naliaka gasped, her palm covering her mouth.

“It’s the truth though. You see, dad was a habitual philanderer. He accused mom of inability to give birth to another child, a clever child like him I suppose. Mom, although she never told me this, must have had her fallopian tubes cut off. Who could blame her? Who would deliberately bring a child to this world to be abused by the very person who is supposed to protect him? So anyway, he had women, many of them, out there. He contracted HIV for his troubles…”

“Oh dear…”

“My innocent mother was the collateral damage. She discovered her status first. She went on medication. She asked dad to get tested but instead of getting tested, he beat her up and accused her of cheating on him…” At this point, Naliaka’s tears were a minute away. “Then, he threw away her anti-retroviral drugs and forbade her from ever leaving the house. The watchman was warned of dire consequences if he ever let her out. So she wasted alone in the house, with her long time house help taking care of her.”

“That’s crazy…”

“My father was crazy. Anyway, pretty soon he was housebound as well. His was fast and he died within months.”

“But could you not have rescued her?”

“If I had known, of course I would have. But I was away for months with no communication. I sent mom letters, letters that dad made sure never got to her. But when he died, they got in touch with my employer and I came home.”

Samuel took a deep breath at this point. He was feeling angry all over again. Angry at himself for failing his mother, angry at his father for being the devil incarnate. He still got haunted by what he had seen years ago, two women in the living room, but he had only recognised the house-help. He had asked her where his mother was. When the house-help had pointed at the skin and bones woman next to her, Samuel had looked on in confusion. The last time he had seen his mother, she was a heavy set woman and he had joked to her that she would die of a heart attack if she did not watch her weight. The woman being pointed out for him was not, could not, be his mother. She was too gawky. And walking dead if ever there was one.

He had collapsed on her feet, placed his head on his mother’s bony lap, nearly cringed when her bony hand touched his head, and he had cried out loudly. Then he had heaved for what could have been minutes or days, muttering sorry over and over again.

Samuel had cried for days, but not for the loss of his father. It was for the near loss of his mother. Plans to bury his father had been put on hold, he had angrily told his mother he would not bury him, but she had begged him. He had taken his mother to the hospital, she had been admitted in HDU for a week before she started looking like she had any life in her.  Two weeks later, he agreed to bury his father, but only if he was allowed to cremate and scatter his ashes on the cremation grounds, or far, far away. He did not want any grave with his father’s name on it. “He does not deserve it.” He told his mother categorically.

The day before the burial, they had received a court order stopping the burial. Three women were claiming to be his father’s wives, and they all had one child each, and they wanted part of his father’s property.

Samuel had punched a wall. His mother had started crying. “They can have his bloody body and equally bloody money…” He had declared, throwing the court order on the ground, stumping on it and walking out. He had stayed out all night, drinking alone.

Two days later, he was calm enough to listen to his mother. “You cannot have them take all the money. It is your money by right. You suffered under that man, the least he can do is leave his money to you…”

“I do not want his money…” He had protested.

“I want you to have his money. We are not debating on this. This is what you are going to do. You will request for a DNA for each of the three children. If they are his children, I certainly want them to share his wealth. You will keep half of his property and they can share the other half…”

“What if they contest? This could be a long process and I haven’t got time for court. I am almost due to return to work…”

“They will not contest. I own half of that company. I guess it was the only good thing your father did. You are my beneficiary. If they want to fight, you give them a fight. Show your father’s ghost what you are capable of.” Samuel had done as his mother had requested, mostly to make her proud, and to thank her for being so assertive. His father’s death had brought out a new kind of woman out of his mother, and he wondered if that was the original woman, or her husband’s death had changed her.

The DNA had turned positive for two of the children, a boy and a girl. He had made his offer to them, the women had taken the offer. 
Unfortunately, his mother had succumbed a couple of months later.

Back to present. “So you see Kiki, you and I are some sort of kindred spirits. This life has served us shit, but we take the shit and make manure out of it…”

Naliaka laughed. “I think what you should have said is, if life serves you lemons, make lemonade…”

“Nah…I like shit better.”

She laughed again. “Oh, and my name is actually Naliaka, Kiki is for my night shenanigans.”

***

Kerubo had not slept well. The hairstyle she had chosen, as beautiful as she thought it looked, had come with a huge price. Her skin had been pulled so tight during the plaiting, she worried the girl who had plaited her under bad lighting, may have confused her skin with her hair. At night, she had let shower water run down from her head. The cool water had given her some relief, but not enough to allow her to put her head on the softest pillow.

She had tried different styles of sleeping, none had worked. Eventually, she had sat up and started reading. The reading had only worked for a few minutes, then her thoughts had decided to face several demons that were haunting her at the moment, starting with Mrs Kamau, and why they were here.

She had lost her cool with Samuel the day before, allowed him to see a side of her she never let anyone see, the emotional one. She had considered telling him what was happening in her life, if only to justify her behaviour, but she needed to do it face to face, she needed to be in his arms as she told him.  
Before two days ago, she had not seen Mrs Kamau for three weeks, and the change that had taken place to her adopted mother’s body had shaken her to the core.

Two days ago.

She was aware that Mrs Kamau had been ailing for a few months, but typical of Mrs Kamau, she had told Kerubo that it was diabetes. “Nothing to worry about, I just need to watch what I eat.” Kerubo had taken her word, she had no reason to suspect anything bigger.  Kerubo had drawn up a diet plan for Mrs Kamau, "This should sort your sugar levels pretty fast, but you have to follow it strictly."

Unlike the days she could not spend the night in Mrs Kamau’s house, things had changed over time. Mr Kamau had accepted her, and she suspected it was because she was accessible. All their children had left for America and it had become Kerubo’s duty to run errands for them, to drive them whenever they needed long distance driving, to shop for them. So on Friday she had gone to Gachie straight from work to spend the night.

She found Mrs Kamau sitting outside, trying to catch the last rays of the day.

“Oh my goodness, I know my diet was gonna make you shed weight, but I never realised how fast it would work."
 Kerubo said in shock, bending down to hug Mrs Kamau. Mrs Kamau laughed lazily, tapping on the seat next to her for Kerubo to sit. She did, feeling strangely uncomfortable.

“Are you unwell? I mean, is there something more than the diabetes?”

“You could say that…how are you?”

“I am fine. Where are you ailing?”

“Ah, my daughter, you cannot start shooting questions at me even before you wash your hands, before you prepare tea, before you prepare dinner for us. I have so missed eating your chapatis. Could you do that, then we can talk?”

Kerubo looked at her defiantly, with every intention to protest, but something in Mrs Kamau’s eyes stopped her. Perhaps, it would be for her own good to hold on the questions until later. “Where is dad?” She had started calling them mom and dad. They had protested about being referred to as Mr and Mrs Kamau, and she had thought it would be weird to call them by their names. They had all agreed on mom and dad.

“He went to the shops. He should be back any moment.”

“Alright. I will get dinner ready.”

And she did, her thoughts on her adopted mother. Whatever it was, it was bad. She could see it on her wasting body, she saw it in her eyes when their eyes met. She had, through the window as she kneaded the chapati dough, seen Mr Kamau helping his wife up from the seat. She watched them walking slowly to the house, Mrs Kamau a former shadow of herself, a far cry from the energetic woman who had rescued her twenty years ago. It was not just the passage of time that had taken its toll on Mrs Kamau, it was something bad, something big, and she, Kerubo, started preparing herself mentally for the worst case scenario.

In place of the bright eyed, light skinned and plump woman of twenty years ago, Mrs Kamau’s eyes had sunk, swallowed by her own skull. Her skin had become darker and chuffed. The same forces that were swallowing her eyes from within were also feeding on her fleshy body.

She served everyone, in silence. Only the low volume television had saved them from complete quiet. They ate in silence, washed down their dinner in silence. By the time she finished washing the dishes, she was ready to punch wall.

“Alright, what’s happening?” She asked this, standing hands akimbo in front of Mr Kamau. He cleared his throat, looked at his wife briefly before asking Kerubo to take a seat beside him.

“There is no nice way of saying this, but your mom is dying…”

Kerubo did not react. She had already imagined the worst case scenario. No surprise. Mrs Kamau's body did look fed up with life. In her silence, Kerubo did a quick journey of her life with the Kamaus, concluding that without them, she would probably have died as a child.

“It’s cancer. Cervical cancer.” Mr Kamau continued. “Stage four, meaning…”

“Yeah, I know what that means.” She cut it. She did not want details on how much time she had with Mrs Kamau. “Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?”

“What would you have done except worry?” Mrs Kamau asked weakly. “I went in too late, I am paying for it, and I have accepted it. I need you to accept it as well…”

She could taste her tears, tears that were going down her nose to her throat on a salty path, instead of escaping through the eyes. “I…is there nothing they can do?”

“It’s stage four. Late.” Mr Kamau answered.

“I asked you to come because I want to go and see my mother. I need to tell her myself. Face to face.” Mrs Kamau said.

Naliaka nodded. “I understand. Is there anything else you need? I think I will go to bed.” They did not need anything, and she had gone to bed, and cried for an hour before falling into exhausted sleep.

Now, as she thought about the imminent death of Mrs Kamau, she thought about her last conversation with Samuel. Samuel had not been the only one surprised by her reaction, she had surprised herself too, but she also knew her emotions were raw – she felt emotionally exposed. Had been for two days. Never in her life had she considered herself a jealous person, but she did not need a shrink to tell her she was suffering from a bad case of jealousy. Jealousy against a prostitute, a woman she had never seen, a woman she believed had nothing in common with her, but a woman all the same who seemed to have it too easy with two men, the only two men who had managed to touch a sensitive part of Kerubo’s brain.

Before Kiki came storming into Samuel's life and by default Kerubo's, Kerubo had been happy to believe that Boss was asexual, or just faithful to a wife somewhere in the village. Her failure to lure him had rubbed her off in a bad way because in her history as a honey trap, she had no record of failing to lure a man. So how was it that Kiki had managed to tap into him?

What about Samuel? Her best friend, the only person who knew everything there was to know about her? They were a team, not just on the streets, but emotionally as well. They were each other’s support, at least she assumed they were. She knew Samuel slept around, but so did she and besides, they had never discussed the status of their relationship. What bothered her was not that he was sleeping with Kiki, but she could tell he was emotionally attached to this Kiki, for whatever reason.

That Samuel had always preferred prostitutes worked to her advantage because as long as he stuck to the one night stands, he was available to her whenever she needed it. But there was something about his attachment to Kiki, something that made Kerubo extremely uneasy, and she did not believe it was because of Mrs Kamau’s condition. . 

At four AM, she had fallen asleep while sitting up in bed. Four hours later, Mrs Kamau had knocked on her door. It was time to get back to Nairobi.

***

Kerubo had a cold shower in an attempt to wake up all her senses. The shower had worked some, but she still felt groggy. She made to-go coffee, she would sip on it slowly by slowly for the next two hours. When they got to Nyeri town, for Mrs Kamau’s ancestral home was a few kilometres from Nyeri town, she stopped by a supermarket and bought an energy drink for herself and a yoghurt for Mrs Kamau.

“Is something wrong?” Mrs Kamau asked as she accepted the yoghurt. “You have been very quiet, and you have been crying.”

Kerubo smiled, but within, she was angry that she was still letting her emotions show. “I am fine. I just did not sleep very well. The hair was plaited too tightly.”

Mrs. Kamau looked at Kerubo’s hair and nodded. “It does look tight. But it is beautiful too. Are you too tired to drive? I can drive you know…”

Kerubo gasped in horror, then hoped Mrs Kamau had not heard the gasp. “It’s alright. I got myself an energy drink. I should be fine until we get home.”

“You know, I really do not have a lot of time left.” Mrs Kamau spoke the words like they were hurting her throat. They were approaching Karatina and Kerubo guessed it had taken Mrs Kamau the journey from Nyeri to Karatina to find them. “I worry about you…” She whispered.

“Me?” this time, the glance was longer. She was genuinely surprised. Why would a dying woman, one whose body was being quickly eroded by cancer, worry about her, a healthy twenty something year old. “Why would you worry about me?”

Mrs Kamau grunted before answering. “I worry about you because…how do I put this? Because I think you are determined not to feel…not to experience human feelings…”

“I don’t understand…”

“Exactly. For starters, since we told you I am dying, you have been struggling. You could not even allow yourself to break down in front of people. You are ashamed of showing weakness. I know you broke down. I listened outside the bedroom and I heard you crying. I have been watching you since, and you are struggling with emotions. Kerubo, it is okay to be human, to have emotions. To break down.”

Kerubo felt the tears fall and with them, there was relief. She pulled over by the roadside and allowed herself to cry in Mrs Kamau’s shoulder.

“I bet that felt better.” Mrs Kamau said encouragingly after Kerubo calmed down. “You have trained yourself too well about not feeling things, to hold down emotions. I have known you since you were little, remember. I know why you are how you are and in a way, i feel like I have failed you, that I have failed to reassure you that there are good people in the world, that your parents may have hurt you, but not everyone will.”

Kerubo blew her nose loudly. She thought about Samuel. About Boss. No, she was human. She had felt things last night, not that she had liked what she had felt, but she was, contrary to Mrs Kamau’s opinion, capable of feeling stuff other humans felt. Like hurt, jealousy.

Mrs Kamau was not done. “You have this shield around you, and it is stopping you from feeling things like love…”

“I love you…” She cut in quickly in defence.

“I know, and I love you too, like you are my own. But you love me because you are sure I would never hurt you...” Kerubo could not argue with that. “Your life is about nothing else but your shop job…” That Mrs Kamau believed Kerubo was just a shop manager made her feel guilty once in a while but not enough to tell her what she really was. “You do not have friends…you have never had friends. You do not have a boyfriend…you are not getting younger my dear. You need to have children before your eggs become too old…”

If the mood was not so grim, if Mrs Kamau had not started the conversation with her looming death, Kerubo would have laughed. She would have laughed because Mrs Kamau’s outlook was what she, Kerubo, considered archaic. She would have told Mrs Kamau she did not want to get married, that she did not want children; that she did not care how old her eggs became, she had no intention of using them.   

“I have a boyfriend…” She blurted out, then immediately regretted.

“Oh, you do? How come I do not know him?”

“I was going to introduce you to him but then you got unwell and I thought I should give you time to recover…”

“I am not going to recover. I need to meet him before I die. What’s his name?”

“Samuel…” she said through clenched teeth, then turned on the ignition.